Surprise
by dart53
Summary: The men find a way to keep themselves busy between missions.


Garrison rocked back in his chair, folded his hands in his lap, and sat looking at the man sitting across the desk from him. He waited silently for him to reach the right level of 'squirm' so he could start asking questions. Goniff might be able to hold his own against German interrogation but Craig knew that all _he_ had to do was stare at the little cat burglar long enough and he'd eventually spill everything he knew. He had to know something that he didn't want to give up too, because he was doing an inordinate about of dancing around in his chair right now. Craig continued to study the little cockney. This was taking longer than it usually did. He had the sinking feeling that it must be something that was going to cause him more trouble than usual.

Garrison did more than his fair share of explaining away the trouble his men got into. Most units had some minor problems, men gambling, drinking a little too much in the pub, maybe someone who shirked his duty occasionally and needed a little discipline… That sort of thing was to be expected when you brought a bunch of young men together and dropped them four thousand miles away from home. The Army was used to dealing with those particular problems, in fact, after more than a century and a half in existence, it had developed a whole set of rules just to deal with that kind of trouble. But this unit of his was unique. Not only did he have to deal with gambling, drinking and goldbricking,… these guys threw in filching wigs from judges, stealing valued artifacts from the local museums, going on little excursions over in Europe to add a few jewels to their personal 'nest eggs', getting into brawls down at the local pub, swiping jeeps, passing themselves off as US Army officers and even conning the British into the 'loan' of a plane for a special delivery over Germany. When they weren't causing trouble off the grounds somewhere they were shooting up the statuary during target practice or breaking up the furniture while they were 'having a little fun' fighting amongst themselves. Most of the paperwork he had to wade through on any given day had to do with some stunt they'd pulled…and been caught at. He cringed inwardly at all of the things they might have done… or were probably still doing, that he hadn't discovered yet! He figured wading through the paperwork on all if it would probably keep him busy clear through until he retired. In fact some days he thought he'd probably be dead three years before he finished the last report and finally signed it.

Craig watched as Goniff started nibbling at his finger tips. That was the sign he'd been waiting for. "Alright, Goniff. You ready to tell me what's going on yet?"

The little man squirmed, clasped his hands in his lap in and effort to keep them still and looked up with a nervous grin. "Blimey! What makes you think anything's goin' on?"

"Because you've worked up a sweat, which you hate to do, and your shirt and trousers are dirty, which means you've been up on the roof or down in one of the culverts… And that means you've either been off the grounds, and I just happened to catch you coming back, or you guys have some excursion planned for later and you were making a dry run. Now which is it? "

"Bloody Hell!" The little pick pocket adopted a look of wounded dignity. "Can't a fella work up an honest sweat if he wants to…."

"Any other 'fella' could, yes," Garrison pinned him with his gaze. "…but you….?"

"Aw now that hurts, Warden. That really does."

Goniff could look like a cross between and lost puppy and a kitten that had been caught out in the rain and he was trying that look out on him now. Garrison set his jaw and hardened his resolve… It was irritating to realize that while he knew if he kept a steady eye on his second story man he'd finally break, Goniff seemed to know just what face to pull to get him into a more sympathetic frame of mind. He continued to study the little cockney who became more hangdog by the second. Damn, he thought, looks like a stalemate!

"Alright." Craig decided to call Goniff's bluff. "If you came by that sweat and dirt honestly you won't mind showing me how, will you?"

"Well, uh…. I…. I, … uh."

"I thought so."

"No, now, hang on just a minute… It's like this, see. I have this…uh… hobby,…and I was just out workin' on it…."

"What kind of hobby?"

Goniff started to stammer as his mind raced to come up with something other than the truth. "Uh…. Well, I, …uh…."

"Goniff this will go a lot faster if you just tell me what you're up to."

"Alright, alright…. I uh….uh…." He tried, but he just couldn't come up with anything. Not with the Warden staring at him like he was doin'. The little man threw up his hands and blurted out. "Well, I built a still…"

"You what?"

"Yeah. Well, after we come back from Yugoslavia I kinda wanted to, you know, try my hand…"

"You got sick on that stuff!" Garrison remembered the aftermath of that little drinking binge. Goniff had even gone off his food for three days and that never happened. The medics thought he'd burned out a layer of stomach lining. "You don't mean to tell me with all the real booze you can get your hands on you wanted to ….."

"Oh I don't drink it!"

"You don't!" He could hardly believe that, Goniff drank anything and everything he came across.

"No. I ain't that crazy. I been…uh. I been trying to make up a good enough batch to.. uh… to run one a the jeeps."

"Why?"

"Well… I, uh… I sorta thought that, uh…." It seemed to Goniff that it was getting a little hot in the Warden's office and he hooked a finger in the collar of the shirt he was wearing to pull it out so he could get a little bit of cool air. "Uh… what with the rationing and all I thought I'd try to, uh…. I'd try to…."

"…to set up a business selling bootleg fuel?" Well this would be a new one to add to the list.

"I wasn't gonna sell it!" Goniff only lasted for a few seconds under the Warden's glare…"Not right at first anyway. I was gonna give it to Alf and he was gonna test it out, see… Then if it didn't…"

"…if didn't blow up his truck! Goniff that stuff is dangerous!" Garrison pushed out of his chair and stepped around the desk. Hauling the cat burglar up by his arm he propelled him towards the door. "You're going to show me where that contraption is right now, and you're going to dismantle it." Craig knew he couldn't just send him out to do the job on his own. He'd have to be along and he'd have to supervise the destruction of every component of the still or it would just be transported to a new location and set up again.

Goniff dug in his heels but he was too slightly built to slow the Lieutenant down much. When they got to the door he latched on to the frame in a vain attempt to buy time, but that didn't help much either, the Warden just reached down and put enough pressure on his wrist to loosen his grip and continued to shove him out into the corridor. He was frog-marched across the hall, through the library and out the French doors without any chance to slow things down again. Once they were outside there wasn't anything within reach to latch onto. Goniff didn't think taking off running would be such a good idea… He could run pretty fast if he was scared and being chased, but the Warden, who'd be doing the chasing, could run even faster, especially if he was mad. Goniff took a quick look over his shoulder at the Warden's face… He was mad alright.

It didn't take very long for them to be standing in front of the small shed that sat at the back of the garden. Garrison had one hand wrapped around Goniff's upper arm to keep him from bolting off across the lawn. He reached out to pull the tool shed door open with the other. Pulling the pick pocket inside with him in he made a quick survey of the contents… All of the tools seemed to be missing.

Garrison turned back on the little burglar. "Alright. Where are they?"

"What?" Goniff innocently peered around at the empty hooks and shelves.

"Don't give me that… The tools." He tried to keep his voice calm but he was getting close to just taking the little man by the scruff of the neck and giving him a good quick shake.

"Uh… What tools?"

"Goniff, you know as well as I do that Mr. Marley keeps all of his tools out here. Did you 'borrow' them to build that thing?" Garrison ran a hand through his hair in frustration and turned on the little man. "Do have any idea how important those tools are to him Goniff? It's how he makes his living… You didn't leave them out somewhere where they could get ruined did you? Because if you did you're going to pay to have every one of them replaced…"

"Warden!" Goniff acted staggered that anyone could believe he was capable of even thinking of such a thing.

Craig sighed. There was that look again only this time he'd kicked it up a notch to a puppy who'd just been kicked and a stepped on wet kitten… a whole litter of them.

They just stood there looking at one another. The second stalemate was broken after several moments by the faint sound of laughter filtering through the trees.

"The others are in on this too, aren't they?" Garrison could understand Casino, maybe even Chief, but Actor? "Alright, come with me! We're going to get to the bottom of this, right now." Hauling Goniff out of the shed again he headed for the sound.

"Warden… Warden. Look." Goniff was back pedaling as hard as he could but Garrison had a full head of steam up now. "It's in a whole n'other direction…. Warden…." The group's pick pocket twisted and strained. "Really! If you wanna see it I, uh… I'll take you straight to it."

Craig released his grip on the cockney's arm and headed out across the lawn. "Oh I think I can find my own way just fine now, but thanks anyway."

Goniff raised his voice. "No! Really! You want to be goin' out by that old place we burned up when we….uh…." but his voice trailed away to silence when the Warden stopped and turned to stare at him. Maybe it wasn't such a good thing to remind him of that little episode…

When Garrison turned back to the hunt, there were no voices to guide him. The little cat burglar had raised the alarm and they were quiet now, but he had a pretty good idea where he was going. He didn't bother hauling Goniff along anymore. He'd either come or not, and he knew where he could probably find him when he wanted him if he decided to take off.

g

When he stepped through the last stand of underbrush and looked at the derelict gardener's cottage he wondered for a moment if he'd made a mistake. It seemed to be abandoned, but then he glanced down at the path leading up to it… There were several sets of footprints going in and out. They either had half the guard detail in there with them or they'd been coming and going for several days now… That probably meant the still was up and running and they were into the 'marketing and sales' stage of their little enterprise.

The Warden stalked up on the compact covered porch, turned the knob, gave a shove and was in the common room of the tiny little dwelling. It was deserted, at least the living area was, but he could hear movement in the back, shuffling feet, frantic whispering, and a window being carefully raised.

"Freeze!" The response to his shouted command was total silence. Moving quickly to the door of the cottage's one small bedroom he grabbed hold of the handle and gave it a twist only to find it locked. "Casino!" he growled, his voice low and menacing. The next sound he heard was a subtle 'click' and the knob turned freely in his hand.

The moment the door opened Garrison's attention was riveted on his men. Actor straddled the window sill, obviously caught on the way out… Chief was already outside, probably making sure their escape route out the back was clear just like he did for the group when they were on a mission. Casino was acting as rear guard. He was standing in the middle of the room, fists planted firmly on his hips in his signature pugnacious stance. The next thing that caught his attention were the tools scattered around the empty room, and it took a moment for that to register… The room was empty…. But before he could open his mouth and start asking his own questions Casino was off and running.

"What'r you doin' back here? You were supposed to be in London 'til after dark!"

There was such a note of demanding irritation that for a moment Craig found himself searching for a good excuse for not being where he was supposed to be… according to the safe cracker. The moment didn't last. "Now wait just one minute…" but his demolitions expert cut him off, his exasperated glare shifting from him to the doorway behind him.

"Jeeze! What a ya mean leadin' him straight back here, Goniff? Can't you do anything right?"

"Bloody Hell! It wasn't my fault he come back early, was it?" the group's cat burglar shot back. "And I tried, didn't I? Next time you want a bite and a pint you send Actor after it! He could a done a better job a thinking up somethin' to keep the Warden from finding' out that we was out here."

"Next time I want…?" Casino jabbed a stiffened finger in the direction of the pick pocket. "You were the one who said he just had to go get 'a little something."!

But Goniff was on a roll. It didn't matter that the safe cracker was right, that it was his own perpetually empty stomach that led him back to the mansion in time to get caught by the Warden. He let the truth of the statement roll right over his head. "Well, next time you just send Actor or you bloody well go on your own!" And with that he wrapped his arms around his skinny self and leaned against the doorway with a huffing air of some innocent waif wrongly accused of a crime.

Actor, even hanging halfway out a window, appeared collected and calm. "I doubt there will be a 'next time', Goniff." Re-entering the room he dusted and straighten his trousers and adjusted his shirt before beckoning to Chief who still stood rooted outside. "All right, Warden, you caught us."

That was an understatement if Garrison had ever heard one. He'd caught them alright, in the act, with the tools and the…. "Where is it?"

Actor adopted the look of a choirboy as he replied. "What are you referring to?"

"The still." Garrison enunciated carefully. "Where is the still?" The men were here, the tools were here… Goniff had spilled it about the still and Garrison was sure that, because the little cockney had insisted it was off in the opposite direction, it had to be around here somewhere… There was no other reason for the men to be gathered in this ramshackle little building.

"Still!" Casino snorted. "What'd we want with a still when we got a cellar full a booze back at the house?" He looked past the Warden and again fixed a threatening glare on Goniff. "What made you tell him there was a still, dummy?"

Goniff pushed off the wall and shrugged, his earlier irritation almost forgotten. "It was the first thing that popped into m' head. I'm the second story man, remember?" He flung his hand towards their Italian teammate. "Ee's the bloody con man."

During the exchange between the two men the Warden took another look around the room looking for evidence of their illicit distillery. There was absolutely no sign of it… but it was evident work was being done on the room itself. The walls had been scrubbed and had been newly whitewashed. The window Chief was finally climbing back through had glass in it! The last time he'd seen it most of the panes were broken or missing and the thing didn't work, it just hung at a drunken angle in its tracks. Then it dawned on him that he'd actually had to get through a door to get into the room in the first place. Craig turned around just to be sure, and stared at a new door hanging solidly on its hinges. The original's hinges had rusted through and it had come away in his hand the first time they'd searched the cottage when Eddie'd first taken refuge on the grounds. After that they'd propped it in the opening but any gust of wind usually found the old door lying on the floor in the common room….

"What's going on in here?" He looked from one man to the next waiting for an answer.

The men shared a look between them. Apparently there was no point in continuing the deception. The con man finally nodded in Chief's direction and the group's scout leaned out the window and signaled to someone out of sight along the back of the building. Garrison watched in absolute amazement as his NCO, Sergeant Major Rawlins, crawled through the window and came to attention in front of him.

"What the…?"

"We wanted to surprise you for your birthday…" Actor explained.

"But it's not my…"

"And it's not exactly finished, is it?" Casino snorted a laugh as he let his gaze sweep the gutted room.

Goniff moved up behind the Warden and added, "We was thinkin' maybe you'd like a place t' sort a get away by yourself for a bit sometimes…An' we figured to start in the back here so's you wouldn't notice nothin' until we were closer to bein' finished."

"Yeah," Casino laughed, "Considering what happened that time you wanted to have a little 'time alone', we figured you could have some privacy out here but we could still keep an eye on you so you wouldn't get into any trouble."

Garrison was stunned. It took him a moment and when he took stock of himself he found he was staring around the room with his mouth open. "But you can't do this… This place doesn't belong to…"

"Beggin' your pardon, sir." Rawlins broke in. "But I cleared it with the owners, sir. They're providing some of the materials, we chipped in for the rest, and the men wanted to do the work themselves. I didn't see any harm in it, sir." And he added with a grin "I thought it might be a good way a keeping this lot out a trouble for a bit."

"How….? Who….?" Garrison was still more than a little dumbfounded. He'd gone through the files on all of these guys and he knew for a fact that none of them had the skills to do this…. Or at least they hadn't admitted to having them.

"Mr. Marley's been showin' us." Chief offered.

Garrison's attention shifted to the window. The handyman, Alf Marley, was leaning on the sill grinning in his direction.

"He's the contractor on this project." Actor explained with a smile as he gave the older man a hand through the opening. "We are just the manual labor."

"But every one of them's pitching in, sir. Goniff, here's been up on the roof patching the holes. Actor's not much for heavy lifting, sir, but he's right handy with whitewash. Casino's looked to the pipes and the youngster's seen to the electrics."

Garrison couldn't decide which was more astonishing. The fact that the men were working on this project, or the note of pride in them that was evident in his NCO's voice.

Chief waited, giving the Warden a little time to get used to the idea that they would try and do something like this for him, before he finally spoke again. "So, now that you know,… You want in on this Warden?"

It took a few seconds for him to answer and then he could only manage. "Yeah." Craig let his gaze range across his men before it came to rest on Alf who stood in front of him, still smiling.

"I don't suppose you've tried your hand at any building?" Alf scratched at his chin. "You haven't worked in any of the trades, then?"

He'd never really had a place to call home, somewhere that needed the kind of skills this little cottage did. "I helped a guy build a stone fence once."

"That's just the ticket then!" The handyman clapped him on the shoulder. "The fireplace and hob need more than a bit of work." Alf looked the young officer up and down with a critical eye. "We've got all the tools already out here, and there's a fine supply of rock right behind the cottage but you'll want a set of dungarees…"

g

The two men watched the Warden disappear down the path towards the mansion, the others were already back at work. Casino turned on Goniff as the sound of hammer and saw echoed in the empty building.

"Why'd you even bring up a still, stupid? As soon as we're finished up here you know he's gonna be on a hunt for it."

"Nah!" Goniff turned and grinned over his shoulder at his teammate and the distillery's brew master. "He thinks I made the whole thing up just to keep 'im away from here."

They'd started on their own little project after coming up with the idea and starting the work to fix this place up. The tools were out, and they'd found the bits and bobs they needed in the mansion's vast cellars. Casino and Goniff talked about letting the other two in on the deal but Chief didn't really drink all that much, and after remembering Actor's opinion of the batch they'd brewed up over in Yugoslavia… Well they decided he'd just be insulted if they invited him to be a part of the enterprise. The still was built now, they'd accomplished that in the time they had between Alf calling quitting time and when they had to be inside for the night. They'd even managed to get some supplies together… sugar was the hardest to find because of the rationing. Casino figured they had enough to run a test batch tonight though… Goniff couldn't wait… he was in charge of quality control and there was no way he could do that without taking a taste or two, was there…?

"You two lads of a mind to do a bit of work today, or 'ave you gone a joined yourself a union?" Alf shouted from the other room.

g

Craig took the stairs up to his quarters two at a time. Now that a little of the shock had worn of he found he was looking forward to working alongside his men to build something for a change. They'd all been involved in too much destruction… He quickly found a set of fatigues that were just about worn out. It didn't take long before he was laced into a pair of work boots and headed back down to the lower level. But instead of leaving through the library doors he detoured down to the kitchen level. There was a box affixed to the wall next to the door that led out onto the grounds and he took a moment to open it and remove the fire ax hanging inside. There was a jeep parked outside and it wouldn't take long to make a run out to that burned out building…. Just in case.


End file.
